#4: Bad Roommates

I HATE BAD ROOMMATES.

This doesn't just make me "mad". This doesn't just mildly annoy me. This really, really makes me want to punch a baby seal.

Having a good roommate is like making a Venn Diagram. There are two sides. On one side, you have "Good Roommate Skills", and on the other side, you have "Good Friend Skills". The middle is a tiny little section that not many people can fit in to, but some do try.

The "Good Roommate Skills" category includes things like being neat, cleaning, doing their fair share of cleaning, cooking, or buying food/drinks. It also includes being quiet, coming back at a reasonable time of night, and maybe even helping you out with something every once in awhile. A person only in this category will be included in statements like:

"She didn't want to come out with us... but at least she keeps her shit together in the room."

"Yeah, we don't really talk that much, but she lets me eat her food sometimes."

"I dunno much about him, but he cleans his hair out of the sink."

See what I mean?

Then the OTHER side, the "Good Friend Skills" side. That's the side for people with god-awful roommates... but really cool people. Sure, they haven't washed dishes all year, and yes, their laundry sure smells, but they throw a great party!

"Yeah, she hasn't showered in a few weeks, but man, did she help me out with my work the other night."

"He leaves his shit all over my room, but we played Smash for like, six hours."

"He hasn't even payed rent yet, but he did buy me beer."

Etc.

THE RARE, RARE roommate has a little (or a lot) of both of these. Perfection. I had one of these once. It was beautiful. 

UNFORTUNATELY THERE IS ALSO THE OPPOSITE VENN DIAGRAM. The Venn Diagram of shit-tastic roommates. People who are horrible to live with AND to talk too. Unsocial, messy, awkward, never-do-their-share-of-anything slobs.

AND I HATE IT.

Added note: I might actually retract my venn diagram and put in a bell curve. I think it might be more accurate.